Difficult family members making the holidays more stressful

Posted on: Fri, 12/20/2019 - 5:44pm
digby's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/09/2019 - 15:38

I have several difficult family members that make the holidays so much more stressful. They always argue over who's hosting and even after they decide then they all argue about who's making what food. That's the beginning of it. Once we hit the day of they all seems to nit pick one another and try to tear each other down not pick one another up. This has been going on for years. I cringe the morning of but the weeks prior give me lots of anxiety because of how stressful it all is. I am at the point now where I don't even want to go but I force myself to go. My therapist told me that I need to start my own traditions so as to avoid the stressful family ones. And my friends told me the same, they said that I should start traveling over the holidays. Being with the whole fam isn't enjoyable at all, it's actually depressing and stressful. Aren't the holidays with family supposed to be joyous? At least that's what I hear.

Posted on: Sun, 12/29/2019 - 6:45pm
JustJules's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/09/2019 - 09:13

digby i totally get it. i have two sisters and two brothers. i'm super close to my brothers but haven't gotten along with my sisters for years. about 5 years ago i made the decision to totally distance myself from them and my life since then has been so peaceful. i am still close to my parents and brothers and i spend time with them away from my sisters. if there's a big family get together or event then i'm cordial to them but keep my distance. at first it made me sad but then i came to tems with it. when you have two such negative people in your life constantly bringing you down there's no choice but to walk away. you can choose to stay but have to endure that and i couldn't do it any longer. my turning point was when i said that it wasn't worth my health any longer. my anxiety and panic were at an all time high. i searched and searched for the reasons but they were right in front of me in the form of my own sisters. sad but true. i've started my own holiday traditions which bring me so much happiness. i usually try to get out of town so that i don't have to make excuses to the family and it works better that way because it's drama-free. then i'll always do something with my parents and brothers when i get back in town. my parents and brothers get it, they're supportive of my decision.

Posted on: Thu, 01/02/2020 - 12:32pm
Parisian Chic's picture
Offline
Joined: 11/26/2019 - 15:15

I can relate to you Digby, the holidays are so stressful and exhausting especially when dealing with family drama. I put myself in the middle of it every year and every year I swear I won't do it again but then low and behold I do it again. Why? Why do I do it to myself? I like JustJules' strategy of keeping out and away from it and doing something separately with the family members that she gets along with. That's such a good idea. I may start taking a vacation through over the holidays and then visit my parents at another time. I know that will cause drama but I can't keep putting my health through it.

More Support Groups Posts

Latest Post by Parisian Chic Thu, 01/02/2020 - 12:28pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by Parisian Chic Thu, 01/02/2020 - 12:21pm
Comments: 1
Latest Post by JustJules Sun, 12/29/2019 - 6:47pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by JustJules Fri, 12/13/2019 - 5:27pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by JustJules Fri, 12/13/2019 - 5:22pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by Parisian Chic Tue, 11/26/2019 - 3:40pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by Parisian Chic Tue, 11/26/2019 - 3:31pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by Pixie Thu, 11/21/2019 - 12:21pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by Pixie Thu, 11/21/2019 - 12:18pm
Comments: 5
Latest Post by Pixie Thu, 11/21/2019 - 12:15pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by bali bae Tue, 11/19/2019 - 1:11pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by bali bae Tue, 11/19/2019 - 1:09pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by JustJules Wed, 11/06/2019 - 11:59am
Comments: 2
Latest Post by MillieM Mon, 11/04/2019 - 2:58pm
Comments: 2
Latest Post by Pixie Mon, 10/28/2019 - 2:29pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by MillieM Wed, 10/16/2019 - 11:17am
Comments: 3
Latest Post by lydia Fri, 10/11/2019 - 1:07pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by MillieM Fri, 10/11/2019 - 12:50pm
Comments: 3

More Articles

Supervisors who demean, insult, or otherwise abuse their employees may simply not be getting enough exercise. A new study from Northern Illinois...

Beta-blockers are a class of drugs most commonly used to treat heart conditions, although they are useful in the treatment of a variety of other...

People with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) may experience heightened levels of anger, and this emotion can worsen symptoms associated with the...

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) can be a crippling condition that keeps you from living your life, but sometimes the prescription anxiety...

The antidepressant Nardil, in the class of antidepressants known as monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), is also frequently prescribed as a...

More Articles

Anxiety levels can be affected by a number of different physiological disorders, including the common sleep disorder known as sleep apnea....

Sinequan, an antidepressant marketed by Pfizer and known generically as doxepin, is most often used to treat depression, anxiety disorders, and...

I hope if you made it this far, that the information I have provided has begun to help you as far as an understanding anxiety disorder. I can't...

The good news for anyone suffering from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is that there are a number of effective treatment options available....

Relationship anxiety is excessive worry about either forming or keeping a relationship. And it is considered one aspect of social anxiety disorder...

Risperidone, an atypical antipsychotic sold under the brand name Risperdal, is a medication typically used to treat schizophrenia, manic...

Getting enough sleep makes us feel better. Everyone knows this. But a team of sleep researchers at UC Berkeley has proof. According to a recently...

Do you have trouble putting your worries and anxieties aside as you go about your day? If you find that they’re always on your mind, you may want...

Facing our fears isn't an easy task for anyone of any age and we tend to run from our fears or expect them to disappear with time. Reducing the...

How much does the mental health of an expectant father influence the emotional and behavioral development of his unborn child? Norwegian...

Getting around town during peak traffic hours can bring stress to even the most relaxed of us, but what if just getting in your car is enough to...

You know that having an anxiety disorder affects your child’s peer relationships, but recent research indicates that not all anxious children have...

The antidepressant Nardil, in the class of antidepressants known as monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), is also frequently prescribed as a...

The expression "worried sick" caught on for a reason--it is not uncommon for anxiety to produce nausea as a symptom. Severe anxiety or fear cause...

Norpramin is a tricyclic antidepressant that is approved by the FDA to treat depression and also prescribed off-label for the treatment of some...